Father Wyan gave us perhaps too much, including a statue of the hags when they were once girls. I’m starting to wonder if they were once some of the ancient women who protected the people in Tepest but betrayed their people for more power. I wouldn’t be surprised. A lot of money and credit came our way. My, how I’d love to be able to spend a little of it on something that isn’t a donkey. I think I may give it back to the family I bought it from.
Lorelai may actually be a good person now. I hope she’ll try to help. Her father will likely never trust her fully again. Unfortunately it pays to be careful, especially in Tepest. I suspect Rima looked into the future and decided that the path that would follow if we did not save Lorelai was a horrible one for Tepest. I still can’t believe she intended to lose the baby that way. As she snapped at Arden, it’s a cruel world. But that’s the kind of plan she makes?
We could have done better. I’m not really interested in letting someone else decide my destiny. No more of this bull shit wheeling and dealing. I’m far better than that.
I tried to get us a chance to talk more but oddly, I seemed to be the only one really interested in that. It was nice to have that chance to breathe, even if it was over quick. Kraj said a little of his past. Actually, I think I should do some more comments as I look back at previous pages.
Krajkah has far more secrets than he let be known. Like basically everyone else in our little group, aside from Arden, he’s turned out to be more of a hypocrite than his condemnation of magic. Maybe he considers what he does miracles rather than prayer, like Esera, or magic, like Arden or I, it’s still magic. He clearly casts spells. It’s more than that however. He was lying about his name and in fact, using another’s name as his own. He has a few aliases. He’s wanted in his homeland and beyond, though I expected as much. Why then mock me so? Perhaps he hates himself. I certainly don’t think he likes me other than finds me useful.
He didn’t pull punches with that Nova Vaasan LESSER noble, the Vandrakyte family serving the Checkivs. Every time he spoke Conrad grew annoyed and increasingly angry. He won’t be able to do that in Nova Vaasa however. I do find it odd that a shorter lived race can find a longer lived one as lesser. Although look at how the fey seem to treat any ‘mortal.’ Back to Kraj, I’m giving him a break considering what he’s gone through though even a little hint of an apology would be nice.
Esera used to piss me off. She can still be frustrating and stubborn, but I do truly believe she means to kill me in my sleep with her secret evil magic. No, I’m just kidding. I’m far beyond that paranoid break I had. I see she wants to help. Her inner light or whatever that goodness in her heat is, beyond pissing off Hags, seems to be intent on aid.
However, she’s choosing to be blind to some things. She avoids things on purpose so as not to mess with her ethics or morals. The only time I’ve seen her actually get angry was “when” we were strapped into those tables as “clones were made of us.” All this other troubling stuff, and she goes along with it as long as she doesn’t get her hands dirty. I expect that’s the only reason she deals with me. I’m willing to put it out there. Honestly, she was infuriating when we were talking to Father Wyan. She was berating him and I’m not sure she’s even intelligent enough to know it. Maybe I should pity the girl.
It all just feels very convenient. Everyone, save Arden it seems, is ready to just go along to get along, to forget what happened and forge ahead. I feel like people are either choosing to be callous or blind and Esera has clearly chosen blind. Maybe her faith in… whatever… helps. If her faith is based upon her innocent, well-meaning outlook than I fear for the day it fails. Also, it’d be nice if she used it against undead.
He’s one of callous ones. I think he wants to do better, but has allowed himself to lie and ignore things long enough to not care. He didn’t want to kill goblin women but then expected to give over a baby? He’s also holding back. I let that go; I know everyone has their secrets. But how long are people going to hold their tongues? Something is going to bite us in the ass hard one day and while it may be Kraj next I feel like Arathmis’ secrets are deeper and darker. Maybe that’s just because he stabs people in the back from invisibility but who’s to say?
Now that’s not to say that Arathmis wasn’t helpful. He helped Ivan and Brigit. He threw the tincture. I’m not about to forget how he talked to me. Oh I more than admit he was right about the people’s fierce blind ignorance and hatred, but then to go and literally taunt the Greabo right out the door, hollering for the Inquisition? I don’t know what happened in there, but the pompous attitude doesn’t sit well with me. I’m having trouble making a final estimation of his character, but I can’t say I trust it whatsoever.
I can say, however, he seems capable of anything and that’s dangerous. He certainly isn’t a fan of me or my ways. I think he’d still rather be rid of me than have me around. I’m not sure I don’t feel the same way.
Arden cares, wants to help, has good ideas, doesn’t like to explain himself, but is trustworthy. I can’t just blindly allow things to go by, however. What if he were disturbed again? I think he has the most trouble processing what’s true of this world more than any other because he’s so well meaning and doesn’t turn a blind eye to it. He doesn’t avoid it; he confronts it, unlike Esera.
Problem is, that gets you in trouble. And when your friends stop you? Then you get angry; you resent them; you resent yourself. I don’t want to embitter Arden but we have to work as a unit. Can’t pull a job unless everyone knows their role. He did show me his idea with the stone, and it might have worked. I don’t know. In the future, I think I’m bound to help him try. I still feel he’s an intelligent sort though I don’t think he feels the same way of me. I think he prefers to have me talk people down so he can then put pressure on them.
I introduced myself formally to him. He’s either an incredible spy or a true friend to the mayor. He did call him father. I gave him some money as I hope he doesn’t get himself into too much trouble in Liara. Sleeping outside? Seriously? He would probably get arrested within a couple days.
He does know the fey however. How in with them and what he wants from them, I’m not sure. It does seem that he played once in the forest and they were drawn to him. He warned me about that. If he’s in league with them, then either he’s protecting me or keeping me from talking to them. I’m inclined to think the former considering all our previous run-ins. I still want to teach him, and I hope I still can.
At least there’s Briggdarrow. Oh it’s got its fair share of problems, but at least the people have some trust and welcome for us. I’m not accustomed to the cold receptions of the Tepestani so this… Well I miss it. It’s not necessarily because they like us though. I expect they are hoping we’ll handle some of their problems. I do want to help with the Avanc and maybe we can tame a few more issues.
But honestly, when supernatural creatures and magic threaten you, you have to arm up. You have to work together. Relying on truth telling magic and fire after all is said and done helps no one but the fey and the goblins. If they won’t evolve, who knows what will happen. Things is, I don’t want Vandrakyte’s kind of help for them. We did warn Father Wyan.
It seems to me the Vaasi man, and maybe his family, are looking for new, easy territory. He was very concerned with security, who was in charge, how things ran. Allow too many guards and they’ll start sleeping with your women and then eventually they are the majority of your townships and then… What nation are you again? That’s right, Upper Nova Vaasa. I mean honestly, don’t try to con a con artist.
As optimistic as I wanted my notes this evening to be, I find myself still tired and worried. Unless you are willing to compromise yourself, your beliefs, morals, what have you or let things go into a cruddy, dreary end, there isn’t any rest for you. Not here, not ever.